you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize