Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
