But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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