yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
