just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
