what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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