his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
