I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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