it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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