this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
This house was built for laser tag.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
