I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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