I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
