There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
