i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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