dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
