There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
