You just made me feel so damn special
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
