walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
your like the ambassador to my penis.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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