YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Will exercising make me less horny?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
