They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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