the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize