Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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