I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
