i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
