He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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