Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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