dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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