I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
