So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
