Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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