so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
