can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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