I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
