So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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