you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
