Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
