i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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