Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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