You really coming over, don't trick.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize