i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
