I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
