; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
