How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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