Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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