trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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