I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
