my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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