When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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