On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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