So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
