Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
