how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
