we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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