You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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