New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
