Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize